No Pineapple Left Behind

The No Child Left Behind Act was created to offer more accountability to schools and teachers when it came to their students. It meant that standard-based tests had to establish whether a school was up to set standards and if so, they would get extra funding.

It’s all nice and dandy but there is a loophole, and someone found it, it’s a clever one. Why not turn all the students into pineapples?! After all, it makes perfect sense. Pineapples don’t need to make friends; they don’t have distractions and goals like children do. They just study, get good grades and as a consequence, get the school loads of money.

With a plot like that, I dare you to place No Pineapple Left Behind in three genres that do it justice. In essence, it’s a magic school principal simulator with child-to-fruit conversion mechanics that also uses the teen-life is full of drama concept. I’m sure none of that made sense but just play the game and you’ll see that that too doesn’t. However, we mean that in the good way.

The idea is to strip the students of their humanity until they turn into pineapples that only take tests and boost the school’s profits. It’s a despicably clever plan, but it requires a lot of upkeep. Some pineapples can turn back into humans if they are left unattended. Your job will be to hire teachers and use them to brainwash the teens of their social skills, goals and anything else that makes them not pineapples. You can do that with lasers.

Be honest, No Pineapple Left Behind is one of the most out there games you can come across, but it’s the kind that’s well balanced between crazy and realistic. If you choose to, you can dive into the semantics of this game. Stuffing kids with standardized information so that they can get good test scores to profit a school can turn them into ‘fruit’ to some extent. It’s common knowledge that school kill creativity, tons of tests can kill willpower and the pleasure of learning. That, however, is just one way of looking at things.

On the other hand, No Pineapple Left Behind can be an accurate depiction of what’s going on in a parallel universe. Either way, whatever No Pineapple Left Behind is, it’s fun.